There! I Fixed the Movie!

  To be honest, I wanted to like the Jurassic World sequels. The first one was a good amount of fun in spite of a weak script, and the trailers for both sequels seemed to be total slam-dunks. But they all fell apart when they came out, and nowhere is that more evident than in Dominion . Out of all the films in the Jurassic Park series, this can be described as the most disappointing, because this should've been such an easy home run for Universal. It promised to be a movie about killer dinosaurs roaming civilisation with the cast of the World movies meeting the cast of the Park movies. But while it wasn't Fallen Kingdom bad, it had some of the dumbest choices that should've been so easy to avoid. How? Well, let's go into it. Going in by the trailer, you'd think this movie would be about dinosaurs rampaging through the world and the heroes trying to contain them, right? Well, no! In fact, the dinosaurs are barely a threat in this. The main threat of the picture is....

Sausage Party was a 2016 animated comedy that was noted for being the highest-grossing R-rated animated film of all time. And to be real, it was...fine. The R rating does feel more like a novelty than a legitimate storytelling tool to the point where the movie does go a little "only one joke" at points, but the metaphor for religion is alright and there are some laughs to be had. But if you ask me, one single fix can end up making the film entirely different. But what is that fix? Well, let's begin. Like I said, the R-rating at times feels a bit like a novelty, and while some parts do end up being really funny, at other times it does feel like the joke is just "HAHA THE HOT DOG SAID THE F WORD!". However, I have one idea that could make it really work: cutting a lot of it out... hear me out. Most of the profanity, innuendos and shock humor would be flat out gone, playing it like any other animated film...except for one thing. You may be asking "what about t...

  I said in my TIFTM on Ice Age: Collision Course that that movie isn’t the worst of the Ice Age franchise. That’s because that title belongs to this movie. It’s surprising how they practically got everything wrong that could go wrong with this movie, from its script to its animation. It’s easily one of the worst animated films of this decade so far, if not the worst. There’s enough problems here to make a full TIFTM post, but the reason why it’s just a Mini is because there’s one fix that could make the film completely different. And hey - let’s talk about it. Okay, okay, that first part was a bit of a lie. They didn’t get everything wrong. They got it, like, 98% wrong, but there is one bright spot in this film: the portrayal of Buck himself. Despite the limited animation, they at least try to recapture how he was in the third movie. He’s still energetic, eccentric and…well, wild. The problem with how he is in the movie, however, is that this is meant to be his movie and yet he...

Of all the films in the MCU, the Ant-Man movies are the most that I have no opinion on. I mean, they’re definitely fine movies. They were just nice little moments of levity in between major tentpoles of the Infinity Saga, particularly with Ant-Man and the Wasp being the breather fans needed after that “holy shit” ending of Infinity War . But then we get to Quantumania , easily the worst of this series and the worst MCU movie in years. The sad thing is, for the most part, it was actually doing a lot of things right…by Ant-Man standards. The comedy was still hit and miss, even if I felt the lack of Luis, the effects like MODOK weren’t great but still fun, and Paul Rudd was still Paul Rudd-ing all over the place. For the most part, they were playing their cards right. But there was one part of the movie that not only completely ruined everything, but decimated it. And hey, let’s talk about it. I feel as though the movie’s biggest problem is the ending. Here’s the sitch - Ant-Man and Wasp...

  I’m gonna be honest, this is a bit of an impromptu post. I wasn’t planning on making this one at all, but I have no idea why, but on Twitter, the 2021 movie Tom & Jerry has been making its rounds because of a certain critic who constantly praises it to no end. Granted, that’s not new in critiquing movies, but the way this guy talks about it and how much he does makes me think he wants Tim Story to come over to his house and suck out his smegma. And I gotta ask “really?” I mean, the movie is…harmless, I guess. It’s a vast improvement from the 1992 movie, its heart is in the right place and it has its funny moments, but if you go and watch it, you can easily see where the problems lie. But problems were made to be fixed, right? So, how would I fix the 2021 Tom & Jerry movie? The common consensus I’ve seen around this movie is that the Tom and Jerry scenes are amazing, but the human scenes are quite bad. I have to agree, because yeah, whenever Tom and Jerry take the screen...

  While I don't think South Park is as good as it was back in its prime, I still find it an entertaining and often hilarious show, from the recent Paramount+ movies and even some of the new episodes. It's not all perfect, like I don't know anyone who'd complain if they dropped Tegridy Farms, but it's still impressive how well the satire is played out in each satire. Even back in 2017, the twenty-first season had some fantastic moments at play, especially when they tied into Fractured But Whole.  However, there's also the episode 'Doubling Down', which could've and should've been the season's most thought-provoking episode, but there was one massive problem that hindered the whole thing. So, how would I rectify it? Let me explain in full detail: Doubling Down addresses the turmoil of an ongoing arc in the series at this point, the failing relationship between Cartman and Heidi, and this episode shows it at its boiling point, with Kyle stepping...

  This is THERE! I FIXED THE MOVIE! MINI! This little subseries is dedicated to movies that I think could be fix with one change. It may not sound like a whole lot, but these changes will make a massive difference. With that said, The Good Dinosaur. It had a ton of potential, but it was unfortunately hindered by a pretty rocky production from start to finish, which resulted in a pretty rocky movie. But when I say one change could fix it, what do I mean by that? Well, let's get into that. A few months ago, I rewatched the movie with a group of friends (shoutout to them, btw, they're awesome) and upon sitting through the film again, one thing stuck out to me: there were a few scenes where the movie goes without dialogue, letting the expressions of the dinosaurs tell the story in a heartfelt, even kinda powerful way. So I got to thinking: what if the whole movie was like that? It's a weird concept, I know, but those scenes that play with none of the characters talking are easi...