THERE! I FIXED THE MOVIE! - Cars 2
First is the World Grand Prix plot. Having a Grand Prix on every corner of the globe is a fantastic idea for a Cars sequel, and a natural progression of Lightning McQueen’s racing career. But the biggest shock of the film is that they barely focus on it. Lightning McQueen isn’t even the main character. We’ll get into that in a little bit, but the question remains: why wasn’t this the whole movie? The fix here is easy: make the World Grand Prix the core focus of the movie, done. In fact, an earlier draft of the movie (and for some reason the DS game) included five races as opposed to three, with races taking place in France and Germany. Why not bring in that idea again? They could even give the main villain role to Francesco, and, of course, have Lightning as the protagonist again instead of Mater. Giving the lead protagonist role to the comic relief was perhaps one of the dumbest moves Pixar’s made with this film. Granted, they would later pull this move again with Finding Dory, but they knew to give Dory some depth and an emotional backstory so the audience would end up caring for her and rooting for her so she doesn’t seem like a one-note character. Mater, on the other hand, has no depth in the film, so there’s none of that emotion for him…at face value, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.
Next, we have the spy angle. Going from a slice of life story about racing to an intense spy thriller is a pretty weird jump. Not to say the spy stuff is all bad, a ton of the action scenes are really exciting. But the biggest reason the spy stuff doesn’t work is because the spy cars are surprisingly pretty buffoonish, with how even after Mater tells them he’s not a spy multiple times, they still think he’s a top spy. The weird thing is that the pitch for the film was “what would Mater do in Europe”, but how the hell does “spy thriller” fit into that? But how do I fix it? An original pitch for the first film was Lightning taking Sally to a movie starring Finn McMissile. They could’ve worked that angle into this film pretty smoothly. How? What if the new McMissile film, said to be the last of the franchise, is sponsoring the World Grand Prix as well as the alternative fuel? Of course, to make this work, I'd have to redo all the spy characters, like Finn being a veteran actor on the verge of retiring, Holley being either his agent or a new face on the acting scene being trained by Finn, Professor Z being the McMissile movies’ villains and Rod Redline…not being in the film, I couldn’t find a way to fit him into the narrative. We could even rework the opening sequence to be a scene from one of the previous movies that the residents of Radiator Springs are watching while waiting for Lightning to get back. Matter of fact, this is gonna sound insane, but they could still have Mater be a part of this narrative interacting with them. They could make Mater a fan of this film series. That could lend itself to a few jokes, plus the fact that the next film of the franchise he loves is sponsoring his best friend's race? That could be a huge deal for him. One scene that could work well with this is the fight in the Tokyo alley. Maybe that fight could be part of a reshoot for the film that Mater accidentally stumbles upon, with his whoops of joy throwing Lightning off so much that he loses the first race. But I know what you're thinking - how does this tie into the story? Well, that will be answered in our final fix.
The last fix we'll make is regarding the friendship between Lightning and Mater. As the film is right now, Lightning and Mater's friendship is debatably the worst aspect of the movie. Mater acts more like a nuisance than a good friend, as shown at the Tokyo party where he constantly embarrasses McQueen. Unlike the other two films where their friendship is somewhat believable, in this film it's not hard to constantly ask "why the hell are these two friends?". But the funny thing is, their bond being tested is actually a great idea for the movie. In fact, those last two points I just discussed actually do come into play in this fix. For example, putting more focus on the World Grand Prix? We could show how Mater's input affects Lightning’s performance. Maybe when he gets mad at Mater for costing him the first race, where he stumbled across the reshoot happening in the alley, he reassigns the crew chief role to someone else like Sarge, who reveals he was getting help from Mater, who apologised for the mess he made in the first race. So in the third race, back goes Mater into the crew chief role. And whaddya know - McQueen wins, thanks to Mater’s help. But that’s just the World Grand Prix angle - where does the McMissile angle come in? This is where the fourth race in Germany comes in. Mater could learn a wrap party’s happening in Berlin, which Mater wants to go to, not realising it’s on the day of the fourth race. But when he realises his mistake, he rushes back to the pits, only to find the race is over, being greeted by a pissed off McQueen. He chastises Mater and tells him he doesn’t want him at any more of his races, this being the moment where Mater leaves. But with some convincing from Finn and Holley, Mater realises he was being selfish, following the promotional tour rather than the race, and leaves the airport in enough time to help McQueen win the final race. The two level the playing field and the film could even end with McQueen making Mater his full-time crew chief, the two having learned not to take each other for granted.
So, now that we’ve done all our fixes, what does the movie look like now? Well, we open on the same action sequence as the film does right now, but revealed to be a Finn McMissile movie the gang in Radiator Springs is watching. When the film ends, McQueen returns and while on a date with Sally, learns about the World Grand Prix and Francesco’s taunting of him, joining the roster and bringing Mater along for the ride. At the initiation, that’s where Mater learns that the new McMissile movie is promoting the event. The first race begins and it seems to be going well, until Mater stumbles across a reshoot of an action sequence in the alleyways. The thrilling fight scene distracts him and costs McQueen the race. McQueen gives the crew chief role to Sarge, who does a decent job in the second race, but only because he was getting help from Mater. McQueen then decides to give Mater one last chance in the third race, and - wouldn’t you know it - McQueen wins! With this good luck streak, the next race should be a breeze, right? That is, until Mater learns about the McMissile wrap party in Berlin. In the excitement, he inadvertently blows off the fourth race and hits the party. Upon realising his mistake, Mater rushes back to the pits, only to find McQueen there, absolutely furious at Mater. After a harsh chewing-out, Mater decides to leave, but with convincing from Finn and Holley, he decides to go back and help McQueen. With his help, McQueen actually manages to win the World Grand Prix. The two apologise and McQueen decides to make Mater his permanent crew chief, ending with the Radiator Springs Grand Prix as usual. And with that, I’d consider this movie fixed.
About the Author: JF the LOLZOR
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