THERE! I FIXED THE MOVIE! - Scoob!

 

I may be the one person at the moment who doesn’t hate Scoob!. Is it a perfect movie? No, that’s why it’s on this blog. But I’ve seen way worse from Warner Animation Group, like The LEGO Ninjago Movie and Tom & Jerry.  It’s not as good as the other LEGO movies or Smallfoot, but I still enjoy it. It’s not even the worst of the Scooby-Doo! franchise, like some of the direct to video movies and especially the Velma series. But when push comes to shove, this movie still has problems. But what are those problems, and how can we fix them? Let’s proceed.

I’m gonna start a little differently and start off by rectifying some of the casting. I’m gonna be fair and say that if done right, recasting the Scooby-Doo characters is not necessarily a bad idea. The key to it is finding actors who fit the role. And some of them, I will admit, fit the bill pretty okay. Amanda Seyfried as Daphne? I get it. Jason Isaacs as Dick Dastardly? That’s spot on. Hell, I have no notes for the character’s portrayal here, I’ll keep that as is. I’ll even give credit to keeping Frank Walker as Scoobert Doobert himself. Even some bizarre casting choices like Tracy Morgan as Captain Caveman or Zac Efron as Fred, I can kinda get behind. But then there’s some casting choices that are just plain weird. For example - Mark Wahlberg as Blue Falcon. I can’t say from experience since this was my first exposure to the guy…somehow, but the voice doesn’t really match the character, and what doesn’t help is that Wahlberg’s performance is pretty weak. How would I fix this? Well, one of my mutuals claimed that Wahlberg was doing a bad Ryan Reynolds impression. So, why not bring in Reynolds? He already has experience playing a cocky, smartmouth superhero, plus he actually was considered for the film (though for Fred instead of Blue Falcon) so he’d be a good fit. I’d also overhaul his entire character so that he’d be more of a Blue Falcon in training, constantly trying to be a good superhero, but always failing instead of “lol he’s just a social media influencer who’s too lazy to do anything heroic, isn’t that quackin’ crazy, Jimbo?” Then you also have Gina Rodriguez as Velma. Now, Rodriguez isn’t doing anything wrong in her performance and the idea of a Latina Velma isn’t a bad one, but the only problem I have is that it doesn’t feel like too fitting a voice for Velma. This is actually something the Velma series kinda excelled at. I mean, I’ll agree that the show is absolutely terrible, but Mindy Kaling is a pretty fitting voice for Velma, even kinda sounding like Kate Micucci at times, why not bring her in here? Not as a precursor to the show, just as a decent idea for a character. But then we get to the biggest misfire in the cast: Will Forte as Shaggy. I’ll give him props for at least trying to do a Shaggy impression, but as many other people have pointed out, why couldn’t they just bring back Matthew Lillard? He’s the definitive Shaggy at this point. Plus, it’s not like he’s becoming an increasingly obscure name, the dude’s making a bit of a comeback, considering the She’s All That remake no one remembers or how he was recently cast as William Afton in the FNAF movie. I still see no reason why they couldn’t just bring him in. But what about the other Scooby-Doo! alumni? I mean, we already got Frank Walker and Matthew Lillard, what about Grey DeLisle and Kate Micucci? I’d utilise them in little shoutout cameos, for example: the woman at the bowling alley? That could be Micucci. Dastardly’s cop disguise? Why not make that DeLisle? That’d make a little more sense than wasting a Christina Hendricks cameo. And as for Simon Cowell…well, we can’t really recast him, but his treatment, we will get to…right now.

My second biggest fix is in terms of the story itself. One thing that irked me in the first fifteen minutes is that Simon Cowell makes a big deal about Shaggy and Scooby being screwups. But in terms of the movie, we never see them screwing up before that. Not in the flashback, not in that recreation of the theme song, so…what’s Cowell talking about? This is where I’d incorporate a scene that plays out like an episode of the show. The gang’s split up, the monster is hot on their tail, and Shaggy and Scooby are goofing off as usual. The monster spots them and they cower, inadvertently giving away the other members of the team. Someone gets captured (the formula dictates it’s usually Daphne but we can probably rework that so probably Shaggy can be captured), and it’s up to the gang to save him. Scooby and Shaggy prove no help (I mean if Shaggy’s captured, then…how can he?) but they save him, unmask the bad guy who I’m gonna dub Old Man Porkchop, and then we cut to the diner scene. That would add up more since we’re actually seeing Scooby and Shaggy screw up instead of just being told they screw up by Cowell. Another scene I’d fix is the climax. To start, this is a minor fix, but I’d fix the scene of Fred putting on the ascot. I mean, it’s a decent moment, but in terms of the movie, he never had that ascot on. I’d change it so he has it on during the beginning where we see them as kids. Granted, Fred’s wearing a knight outfit the whole time, but why not incorporate that into the costume? Then the callback would make sense. As for the end of the whole thing, instead of a lame fake out death trope we’ve seen countless times, instead of Shaggy being left behind in the underworld; why not Dick Dastardly? After he’s unmasked, he could try manipulating Scoob into joining him, saying they’ll be “best friends”. And hey - it required the descendant of Peritas and his best friend to lock the gate! Scoob agrees to the gang’s shock, but they catch onto what he’s doing when he convinces Dastardly to lock the gate. Then boom! Dastardly’s stuck in the underworld. It’s a bit convoluted, but at the same time, it’s a little clever. One other minor fix I’d make here is with the humor. I say this is minor because there’s a few good jokes in here, like when Blue Falcon claims to hate being right, prompting Dynomutt to say “we’re lucky it doesn’t happen often”. That got a pretty big laugh outta me. But for every good joke, there’s five really bad, and borderline dated jokes. A lot of them are just bad pop-culture references, like how one thing that makes Dick Dastardly evil is that he shares a Netflix password, or Scoob confusing the Falcon Fury for IKEA. I’d personally tone this way down so that there’d be more room for actual jokes instead of just saying “look! Wal-Mart exists!” or “look! dabbing exists!”. For example, that IKEA scene? What if Scooby confused it for his grandma’s house? It’s a little weird, but it works because…well, whose grandma’s house looks like the Falcon Fury?

One last element I’d fix is in terms of the friendship of Shaggy and Scooby being tested. This is a fantastic idea for a Scooby-Doo movie. And at first, it felt like all the pieces were there. Scoob makes a promise to keep his friendship with Shaggy as a kid, but their friendship gets tested over time due to feelings of grandeur going to Scoobert’s head. That’s an interesting idea that ended up being executed not very well. For example, the scene where Scoob takes off the collar. Shaggy looks as if he’s okay with it, but if he was, then why does he get so upset with Scooby anyway? This is something even the movie calls out. I’d fix this by having Shaggy not be okay with it, and either A. Scooby proposes they work around the collar but Blue Falcon doesn’t pay attention and just takes it off, B. Scooby doesn’t notice and asks to take it off anyway, being so enthralled by the thrills of being “the key”, or C. which we will get to. Then we get the argument between the two, or as me and my friends like to call it, the “poopy trope” scene. The scene as is just comes out of nowhere and, if anything, just makes Shaggy look kinda selfish. If I had to fix it, I’d make it so Shaggy still gives him the ultimatum, but at the end it’s Scooby calling him out for his selfishness. In fact, why not have this be the scene where he takes the collar off to symbolise Scoob properly letting go of their friendship? One last thing about this scene is that we gotta keep the “Simon Cowell was right” line unaltered. That line’s way too epic.

So, what would my fixed outline of Scoob! look like? Well…

We open as we usually do, Shaggy (now Matthew Lillard) meeting Scooby at the beach, and then the rest of the Mystery Gang on Halloween, with Fred wearing the ascot as part of his costume. They solve a mystery and then fast forward to the present day as they solve…well, another mystery. Shaggy’s antics get him captured, but the gang come to his rescue before they get to the diner and talk with the epic man himself Simon Cowell. Cowell berates Shaggy and Scooby for their screwup-iness, which the others can’t help but agree with. The two leave, leading them to get ambushed by Dastardly’s minions before its Blue Falcon to the rescue…kinda. Dynomutt and Dee-Dee come to the rescue while the Blue Falcon himself, who Dynomutt is training after working alongside his father, has no idea what the bippy is going on. They try locating the skulls but over time, Scoob gets a big head from all the hero work, which gets Shaggy a bit upset. The strain on their friendship comes to a boiling point when they get to Messick Mountain. Shaggy forces Scoob to choose between him and the falcon lads. This angers Scoob, accusing Shaggy of not valuing their friendship and removing the collar, their friendship done. The film plays out the same way after that, they fight Captain Caveman, Scoob gets kidnapped and they all head to Athens to fight Cerberus. Once Cerberus is down, they’re faced with a tough choice: either Shaggy or Scooby has to stay behind. But at that point, they unmask Dastardly and as they take him away, he calls out to Scooby saying they could still be partners or “best friends”. Upon realising the ultimatum with the gate, Scoob immediately says okay and declares them best friends…only to trap Dastardly in the underworld. The day is saved, Shaggy and Scooby make up, and a sequel is set up during the credits where Muttley brings Dastardly back from the underworld so it wouldn’t end feeling like “Hanna-Barbera Cinematic Universe: Part 1 of 2”. And look at that, I fixed the movie.

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