There! I Fixed the Movie!

Hey, remember when Family Guy killed off Brian? I remember. The episode "Life of Brian" took the world by storm for its twist, actually killing a major player in Family Guy...until they brought him back a couple episodes later. And the episodes that followed afterwards? Needless to say, it was enough to make people wish Brian was never resurrected, since he would end up cucking Joe, scamming Quagmire and giving a baby herpes (trust me, it makes sense in context). But "Brian's a Bad Father" is arguably Brian at his worst. And as I and many other people have pointed out, this episode should've been something worthwhile. How? Well, let's get into it. I'm gonna split this into two sections, one for each of the two plots this episode juggles between. Let's start with the Brian plot. This is quite literally the first instance where my fix for the story was planned but swapped out at the last second. There's a scene in which Brian and Dylan actually...

About a year ago, my friend recommended that I watch The Ring , the 2002 horror film from Gore Verbinski, because it was among her favorite movies. And while I didn't get into it as much as she did, I still think it's a great movie with a really inventive premise. It does the Koji Suzuki novel justice perfectly. However, watching this movie made me think about certain movies that could've ended in their first, like, ten minutes. What's this movie's case? Well, let's start. The movie's premise involves a mystery revolving around a cursed video tape that kills you seven days after you watch it. You guys know the one, the one wit the well and Samara Morgan crawling out of the TV. It's a staple of horror iconography next to Ghostface from Scream . However, here's my takeaway: one of the two girls at the beginning seems aware that the Ring tape kills you after watching it...and waiting the seven days, of course. In fact, seven days before the film started...

  Even nearly fourteen years after its release, M. Night Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender  has made its mark in cinematic infamy. Not for its box office results or its critical reception, but rather the impact it made on Avatar: The Last Airbender fans, many calling it one of the worst cinematic adaptations of all time. And…yeah. It’s actually really fascinating how much of the show’s lore, tone and overall feel they get completely wrong. But the sad thing is, this is a movie that could've been, and should've been, great. What do I mean? Well, let's get started. Before we get started, I gotta make one thing clear: no, I will not be comparing this to the live-action series on Netflix. That’s got its own slew of issues, so I’m gonna put that in the “story for another time” category. Another thing I’ll point out is, as crazy as it sounds, none of this is specifically Shyamalan’s fault. He’s clearly a big fan of the show and the fact he wanted to make the film after seeing his d...

Sausage Party was a 2016 animated comedy that was noted for being the highest-grossing R-rated animated film of all time. And to be real, it was...fine. The R rating does feel more like a novelty than a legitimate storytelling tool to the point where the movie does go a little "only one joke" at points, but the metaphor for religion is alright and there are some laughs to be had. But if you ask me, one single fix can end up making the film entirely different. But what is that fix? Well, let's begin. Like I said, the R-rating at times feels a bit like a novelty, and while some parts do end up being really funny, at other times it does feel like the joke is just "HAHA THE HOT DOG SAID THE F WORD!". However, I have one idea that could make it really work: cutting a lot of it out... hear me out. Most of the profanity, innuendos and shock humor would be flat out gone, playing it like any other animated film...except for one thing. You may be asking "what about t...

  I said in my TIFTM on Ice Age: Collision Course that that movie isn’t the worst of the Ice Age franchise. That’s because that title belongs to this movie. It’s surprising how they practically got everything wrong that could go wrong with this movie, from its script to its animation. It’s easily one of the worst animated films of this decade so far, if not the worst. There’s enough problems here to make a full TIFTM post, but the reason why it’s just a Mini is because there’s one fix that could make the film completely different. And hey - let’s talk about it. Okay, okay, that first part was a bit of a lie. They didn’t get everything wrong. They got it, like, 98% wrong, but there is one bright spot in this film: the portrayal of Buck himself. Despite the limited animation, they at least try to recapture how he was in the third movie. He’s still energetic, eccentric and…well, wild. The problem with how he is in the movie, however, is that this is meant to be his movie and yet he...

  As of the day this post was released, it was over three years ago that it was announced that Blue Sky Studios would close its doors for good, despite technically living on through Annapurna Animation. And that was a heavy hit, because I grew up with a ton of their movies, such as Robots , Rio ,  The Peanuts Movie , which I still consider my favorite animated film of all time, and of course, Ice Age . However, this studio was not perfect, and I would call their biggest problem the fact that for the longest time, they couldn’t let go of Ice Age , and nowhere did those chickens come home to roost more than with the fifth instalment, Collision Course . I’ll be fair and say this isn’t the worst of the series, but it is the one where I wound up feeling the most franchise fatigue. But, as crazy as it may sound, there is actually a way this might work. How? Let's begin. First, we have to address the film's villains, the dino-birds. Out of all the Ice Age villains, these are the one...